Somerville Apartments

Students:

• See those nice people at the credit card company tables offering you a free T-shirt if you fill out their easy paperwork? RUN LIKE HELL.

• Try to think of your weird, psychotic roommate experiences as an investment in character. These stories will help you be the life of the party someday.

• If you don’t believe me, try this: To help make friends, start swapping your prom-went-wrong stories. That’s how I bonded with my best friend.

• Even when you think you’ve got it bad, know that you’re in Utopia. Savor each day. You will never again have as many single folks your own age around you at one time; abundant, quick and somewhat healthy food to enjoy with your peers; and “free” cable and gym memberships. Someday, you will have to pay for things like electricity and Internet access and single-serving Lean Cuisines. And you will do this while still paying for your Utopian years.

• When your RA reminds you that candles are strictly prohibited, listen. Because some people who think they’re responsible candle users might find themselves leaping off the top bunk early one morning to extinguish a small fire caused by a slow-burning raspberry Bath and Body Works candle. The raspberry won’t mask the smell of a toasted desk hutch, which you’ll be paying for in May.

• Do not wear a formal, floor-length wool coat to a frat party. Because when you decide to leave, your search for the coat could turn into a House of Horrors kind of experience. What’s behind Door No. 3? You really don’t want to know.

• On second thought, your coat choice should not be your first concern. Be smart. Go in groups. Don’t let someone else be responsible for your safety.

• Try to call your parents every once in a while — they’re worried, and they want to know you’re doing OK.